The Guest List

What's up friends,

Wow! 

Here we are again!  Another holiday season.  We've eaten the turkey, we've either avoided or embraced Mariah and if you're Catholic like me, you are smack dab in the middle of Advent with all the Marian Feast Days you can handle.

This last week caught me off guard because Thanksgiving landed so late this year.  For Thanksgiving to be the last week of November, it sets up right into the crackdown of holiday shopping and decorating.  This was probably one of the few years where we were super late decorating the salon.  God bless my mom, she's a champ!  She keeps my shit together.  

I had a terrible, hacking cough in November and two weeks later, my mom didn't feel well either.  What can I say?  We're getting older, I guess.

One of the events I look forward to at this time of year is my annual holiday party.  It's always the Saturday after Thanksgiving and it's always during The Parade of Lights.  It's a real shindig! 

Every year I look at the list of people and I think to myself, "Has my friend group grown?  Has my friend list changed scenery?  Has the entire 'Josh Show' been recasted?"  

Let me tell you: this year was a bit of a recast.  

Years ago when I was writing "Pretty Boy Education",  my first blog, I wrote about "recasting" my life and some of the people that worked with me at one salon or hung out with me noticed that they were fitting the archetype of someone I was talking about.  

Let's be honest, friendships change shape.  Some people get closer, some fall away, some can't fucking stand one another, but they keep up appearances.  After the year I had with so many plot twists in my personal life, I took the opportunity to re-evaluate who I wanted to share space with at my party.  I wanted to see new faces and I wanted to give some folks a well-needed break from "The Josh Show" as many of my exes have called it.  

I started by looking at people that have been true blue and nonjudgmental this year.  This has been the year of judgment!  I've had some very close friends give me their two cents about situations I put myself in.  I couldn't care less.  I don't like judgmental people.  I have a rule, "get your goddamn house in order before you ever try to tell me how to handle mine!"  

Most people have some element or degree of drama happening in their lives.  It's a spectrum like autism.  We're all on the drama spectrum, it just shows more in others than some.  I tend to land high on the spectrum because I love to stir the pot and I don't keep my mouth shut.  I will sell this to people as one of my endearing qualities, but sometimes it translates as a headache when I give folks the skinny.  What can I say?  I'm a natural-borne entertainer! 

This year, I aimed for professionals in my industry, my age range going up and down 8 years both ways.  32-48.  Yes, there were some younger folks there and there were some older couples invited to balance out the scene especially folks that are friendly with my Mom.  She's become a fixture at the salon over the last six years and I want her to enjoy herself as well.  

Overall, the party was a major success!  The biggest regret, I forgot to take a group picture!  

At the end of the evening, I went next door to The Senate Bar and Grill and passed out the last of the desserts my mom had made.  I wasn't going to eat them and I didn't want to throw them away.  Everyone loved them!  We always have a decent spread at my parties.  The booze is flowing, the food is spectacular and the company is a blessing!  

I would say that I'm blessed this year. I missed a few faces and relished in this for a few days after. 

At morning Mass the following Tuesday, I arrived a little early and lit a few candles.  I knelt down and told God to take care of my friends that have chosen to breakaway for the time being and asked him to soften my heart to their situations and feelings toward me.

"Maybe I'm just too much for them", was the thought that ran through my mind.  Was this God telling me this or was this me channeling a digested thought given to me after my Divine plea?

I smiled, looked at the altar and said, "we'll go with that, Lord.  You'd know better."

Life is full of deep connections that go awry or just fall flat with a major thud.  People ghost, people flee when it gets too hot in the kitchen or they just don't gel with you.  It's not for us to understand.  I do find it to be a bit cowardly though.  Modern psychology will tell you that they are "creating boundaries" and "protecting their energy".

Naw.  Just a bunch of a pussies that can't handle the heat in my book. 

I'm glad they weren't on the guest list.

Cheers!

-j.