The Longest January

 Good evening friends,

Here we are in early February gratefully exhaling the residue of the longest January in the history of mankind.  At least that's what it feels like on my end.  

January, for me, is a time of deep reflection after the holidays.  The Holidays send people into a frenzy of excessive spending, eating, drinking and pretending to be marry all for appearance sake.  For me, the only great fulfillment I get comes at Midnight Mass.  That's the absolute truth!  We could literally eat turkey sandwiches and forego the big feasts that occupy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for me. 

Please know this: I love my family traditions and I love hosting people and helping my mom in the kitchen, those activities do give me great joy, but I do not like excessive stress or the feeling of having to perform for anyone.  If I want to be "on" and perform stand-up comedy, catch me at my local watering hole twice a week.  When I'm with family, I genuinely want to check in with each person and know the good, the bad and the ugly.  I like to keep shit real.  Don't save face for me because I can see when you're trying to keep up with appearances.  

I recently had a situation occur where my friend's stepmom told me I overwhelmed her and her husband when I greeted them and I knew this when I noticed her reaction.  I sent her a message and said I was sorry to come on so direct and so strong.  I think we worked out her overwhelmed reaction and I hopefully still have a friend in her and her husband because if I don't, then people are just weak.  That's all there is to it.  I'm learning that people are not made with iron backbones anymore and they don't like to hear the truth.  We've become incredibly soft in today's society.  

When 12 year old kids tell you they are suffering from "anxiety", we have gone AWRY! 

It's been cold and snowy lately.  Snowier than I've ever seen for the area of the country where I live.  I think the kids have maxed out on their snow days and will probably have an extended school year, but that's the way the world is now.  Again, soft. 

We went to school!  Hell froze over, we walked uphill both ways without a water bottle and never told our moms and dads if we got in a fight after school because we could handle it.  Kids and  parents are not made like this anymore.  We've become incredibly sensitive to the idea that we can just call off whenever we don't feel like going to work or fulfilling our obligatory duties. 

One of the "snow days", if you will, I was scheduled to be off from work to watch The Inauguration of President Donald Trump.  I watch every Inauguration in the hopes that like a good American, I can tune in to the tone of the country, the incoming political leaders and the mood of the room.  I watch when I voted for you and I watch when I didn't vote for you.  I never tell people who I voted for and I don't discuss politics publicly unless we are 1) alone, and 2) I know you can handle it.

People can't handle it.  

My close friends know how I feel about politics.  I don't think you should worry too much.  I mean that.  The people in power are going to do whatever they damn well please and they don't KNOW you.  Stop acting like they KNOW you.  They have not been to your house.  Last time I checked, Elon was not having morning Chai with me anytime soon and Melania has never booked a hair appointment with me.  They DON'T KNOW ME. 

I read the threads on X, I've silenced the crybabies on Facebook and have unfollowed the extremist accounts I see on Instagram.  For my own peace, it's easier to unfollow your social media feeds and be kind to you in person.  When people tell me how scared they are or how irrate they are, I assuringly say the same thing to everyone: "I promise you that you and I are going to be just fine."

...and I mean that.  Stop worrying about stuff you can't control... especially the United States government.  We have never gotten along and it just creates division.  

There's been a lot of commentators, television personalities and entertainers talking about disconnecting from family and friends that didn't vote for your selected or preferred candidate.  I think that's absolute horse shit and incredibly immature.  Again, we have become so soft and so dependent on our own individual egos that we don't know how to communicate anymore.  Everyone has a false self-inflicted form of PTSD.  

I'm not here for any of it.  

Once again, "I promise you that you and I are going to be just fine."

When every January arrives, I do a little experiment: I purposely wait for my "friends" to text me first and invite me to do something or send me a meme or something funny over DM or Instagram Messenger.  I make almost no effort in initiating meet-ups or lunch plans unless we have been RIDE OR DIE for years.  When an election year is upon us, I go even more mute for all the reasons I've stated above.   

If I had anything to ask of my friends, clients and acquaintances readings this, it would be the following:

1. BE SMARTER THAN THE SYSTEM. 

2. DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE OR HEAR (especially on social media).

3. READ MORE THAN THE HEADLINES.  DO YOUR RESEARCH.

4. BE OPEN TO FAIR AND HONEST CONVERSATION.

5. STOP REACTING OUT OF ANGER OR FEAR.  BE A GODDAMNED ADULT.

I know adulting is hard and that we are not always going to see eye to eye and we may even need little breaks from one another, but I honestly think we need to put on our armor and walk like soldiers.  We cannot heal, grow or come together if we're all gonna be so soft and vulnerable that we are unable to function or make words to create a sentence.  

If social media makes you mad, turn it off.  If the news is unsavory, put it away.  If you can't stand a political candidate, don't talk about them.  That was my rule for the last four years.  I didn't say a word about the president.  I let people praise him or diss him, but I did not make many more comments other than, "I'm not really a fan." 

I said what I said. I'm not soft, I'm not weak and I'm not scared.  

I'll say it for the last time:

"I promise you that you and I are going to be just fine."

xo, j.